


I Loved, I Loved, and I Lost You

by Bright_Sea



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood, Galra Keith (Voltron), I'm Going To Hell For This, M/M, My poor babies, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8478946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bright_Sea/pseuds/Bright_Sea
Summary: Keith's greatest fear comes to life when the person he cares about the most discovers one of his darkest secrets.





	

Keith charged at the training dummy, tears in his eyes and a scream on his lips. He slashed and with a terrible noise the dummy fell to pieces, though not because of Keith’s bayard. The red paladin looked down at his shaking hands, fat tears falling down from his eyes and splattering onto the shaking limbs. Keith’s bayward was back in his room. What had caused so much damage in a few swift hits was Keith’s own hands. They weren’t truly his anymore, though. They belonged to whatever monster Keith was turning into. 

In less than a few weeks, Keith’s body had started to change. His hair fell out, growing back not black but a dark plum. His skin, once perfectly pale had darkened in areas. Dark patches of violet covered his flesh like a rash and only spread as time passed by. Then there was the reason for the dummy’s quick death. Keith’s nails had grown, but not by normal human standards. They had grown into sharp, animalistic claws capable of doing more harm than just taking out a practice dummy.

A choked noise broke past Keith’s lips as he stared down at himself. He was terrified. For some sick reason, he was the very thing he and the others hated. Every day he came closer and closer to fully becoming the monsters that bring fear and death throughout the universe. Keith didn’t know what to do. At first, he had stayed quiet and hid from the others. He became distant in his attempt to keep his terrifying secret. Things were changing now, though. The others were asking questions and it was becoming harder and harder to hide his new changes. It was only a matter of time before things got out and God knew how that would end up. No, Keith knew exactly how it would end. Hunk would be scared, Pidge would be angry, Allura and Coran would be betrayed, Lance would be disgusted, and Shiro…

Keith swallowed hard and brought a clawed hand to his eyes. Shiro would be the worst out of all of them. Hot tears fell onto the cool skin of Keith’s hand. For a year, Shiro had been tortured by the Galra. They had broken him so much that sometimes the black paladin would lose himself and drop into a world of pain only he knew. Triggering the PTSD wasn’t the only thing that scared Keith, though. If Shiro saw him, Keith would lose Shiro forever. The man who just came back into Keith’s life would leave again, but not because Shiro didn’t have a choice in the matter. No, this time he would have a choice. He would hate Keith. All the times they would smile and laugh together before and after Kerberos would be forgotten the second Shiro saw Keith’s purple skin and glowing yellow eyes. And oh, that would hurt the worst. Though not as much as it would hurt when Shiro would shatter Keith’s world with words filled with hate instead of the love filled ones Keith’s always longed to hear from the man since the day they first met. 

Sobs wracked Keith’s body. 

“What am I going to do?”

The sound of a door sliding open reached Keith’s ears. He froze, praying that he’d just been hearing things. Or maybe, by some luck, it was just a stupid malfunction Coran didn’t get around to fixing yet.

“Keith?”

No such luck. 

“Keith, are you...are you alright?” His voice was filled with so much concern. “Buddy, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, Shiro,” Keith forced out, but his voice betrayed him. His words were shaky and he sounded like a pained animal. Keith smirked humorously at the thought. He kind of was.

“You’re not,” Shiro argued, standing his ground. Keith could hear Shiro walking closer and panic thrummed in the red paladin’s chest. 

He bolted pushing himself into the corner of the training deck until he couldn’t press any farther against the wall. “S...Shiro, please…” Keith pleaded when Shiro just kept walking closer. “I can’t...I can’t…”

“You can’t what, Keith?”

Keith whimpered and curled further into himself. “I can’t...can’t—”

“Whatever it is I’m here for you, Keith. I won’t leave you alone—”

“You will!” Keith cried into his hands. “I know you will. Who…” a hiccup broke his voice. “...who would ever...lo...ve...me enough to…” he trailed off, his words disappearing into his quiet sobs. He was terrified, more so than before. Shiro was here and his secret was done for. In a few seconds, everything would fall to pieces and everything Keith had worked up to or has been dreaming for would disappear.

“Keith, everyone here loves you. Myself included. We’re here for you. Whatever you’re hiding, you’re only hurting yourself here.” Shiro knelt down and Keith flinched at the sudden feeling of warm hands on his shoulders. They were gentle and felt so good. Keith almost wanted to peek up from his hands and turn to look at Shiro. He almost believed that maybe he’d been wrong in his thoughts about how the others would react. Maybe they’d be as accepting as Shiro made it seem. All that held Keith back was the crippling reality of what the real world was. He pictured the disgusted and hateful looks his fellow teammates had flashed the Galra when near or speaking of them. Could they really not look at Keith like that? He doubted it.

“Shiro, p...please just...go.”

“Not this time.”

The hands on Keith’s shoulders moved towards the red paladin’s head. Keith stiffened and tried to get away, but he had already backed himself into a corner. 

He was trapped. 

Shiro’s fingers gripped Keith’s chin tight and pulled up, forcing Keith’s head out of his shaking hands. Keith blinked rapidly, unable to see clearly thanks to the burning tears in his eyes. He was slightly thankful for his momentary blindness. He was fully visible now. Shiro could see every speck of purple, Keith’s clawed hands, and the faint yellow glow now emanating from Keith’s eyes. The look his body put onto Shiro’s face was one of the last Keith ever wanted to see.

A gasp rushed out of the black paladin in front of him. “You...you’re...I don’t…” Shiro’s words were shaky, full of the very fear Keith had known he’d hear from the man he least wanted to scare.

Finally, Keith’s vision cleared as he wiped at his eyes. He looked hesitantly up at the black paladin, cold and terrifying fear running through his blood at the look that greeted him. Shiro’s eyes slowly changed from terror to ones of absolute hate and bloodthirst. The black paladin was no longer looking at the red like a member of his team. He now looked at Keith like he was the monster he had become.

Keith’s worst nightmare had come to life.

“Shiro— ”

Hands gripped Keith’s neck and the red paladin choked. His own hands flew up in an attempt to shove off the ones crushing his air supply, but they were weak compared to the ones urged on with fear and adrenaline. 

“How did you get on our ship!” Shiro screamed and Keith broke down, tears flowing again from his eyes as every painful thought from the past few weeks came flooding back to him. They were no longer thoughts now. They were real and Keith had never felt so scared and alone. 

“Please...Shir—”

His body flew through the air as Shiro threw him. His body smacked into the broken training dummy and rolled across the cold floor. Keith tried to pick himself up, but Shiro was faster than him. The paladin grabbed at Keith again, turning him over and slamming a powerful fist into Keith’s nose. Keith screamed, pain running through him hot like the blood pooling from his nose. He tried to push Shiro off, but the black paladin was stronger at the moment and relentless. He threw out hit after hit, turning Keith’s face into a black, blue, and red mural of color to go with the purple staining his cheeks. 

“You,”

Punch

“Bastard!” 

Punch

“You,”

Punch

“Monster!”

Keith’s cheekbone shattered under Shiro’s fist and with Keith’s broken crying, Shiro’s hands finally pulled away. For a split second, Keith was idiotic enough to believe that maybe it was all over.

He was so wrong.

“Look at me.”

Keith looked up at his fearless leader. Shiro was breathing heavy and his hands were covered in Keith’s blood. There was a wild and glazed look in his eye too but none of that was what fully grabbed Keith’s attention. The glowing fist of Shiro’s right hand was. 

“I won’t let you hurt my family!” Shiro growled and Keith felt his heart snap at the reminder that he really had no one. “They’re all I have.” The glowing fist of Shiro’s prosthetic arm pulled back, ready for its next blow. 

“S...Sh...ir...o…”

“I WON’T LET YOU!”

Shiro’s arm came down. Keith had been in pain before. Saving the universe got a guy all kinds of injuries. Shiro’s fist ripping through the fabric of his jacket, burning through his flesh, snapping through his rib cage, and plunging into the meet of his muscle was the worst out of all of it. Blood splattered from Keith’s lips and a scream somehow made it out of his dry throat. His body spasmed in pain and all too suddenly everything started to go terribly numb.  


“K...Keith?” 

The red paladin didn’t realize his eyes had closed but when he did, he opened them. Shiro was straddling him, pinning him to the cold floor now pooling with Keith’s own blood. Specks of red colored Shiro’s face and clothes while completely coating his hands. When Keith dared to look up into the gray eyes of his attacker, Keith expected to see just that. He expected to see the man who just beat him to death— the man that hated him so much he took it into his own hands to dispose of the monster corrupting the ship. 

Keith saw none of this. 

Shiro’s eyes were no longer glazed over or wild with hate and bloodlust. His eyes were wide and filled with fear that rivaled Keith’s own. Tears were in Shiro’s eyes and he was looking at Keith like the world was ending. Well, Keith’s was ending. And by the amount of blood he was losing it would be sooner than later.

“Sh....ir...o…” Keith croaked and the man above him stifled a sob.

“Oh god...I did this...I—” Shiro reached to cover his mouth with his hand only to stop halfway as he caught the sight of Keith’s blood submerging his right hand. “Oh God—”

“Mm’ sorr—y” Keith wheezed out as best he could. He was dying and as he laid on the floor bleeding out with Shiro’s body pinning his down, Keith felt the need to release the pain and the secrets that had been boiling in him for so long. Whether it was because of the need not to move on with unfinished business or some other reason, Keith didn’t know. He didn’t really care either.

“Keith, you don’t...I..I’m so...what have I—

“Sh...i...ro,” Keith choked. The blood in his throat was making it hard to speak. “I...ne...ed...tell you…” Keith swallowed, copper running along his taste buds. 

“What...what is it, Keith?” Shiro sniffled. He was losing it. His body was shaking from the shock of his actions and it would only be a matter of time before he shut down completely. Keith wanted to help him, wanted to save him from that. He couldn’t. By then he’d be dead. All he could do was one thing.

“F...forgive...you…” Keith sputtered. He reached out with a shaky hand and pressed it against Shiro’s heart. “I...l...ove you…” 

Shiro’s eyes went wide and a broken sob was ripped from his lungs. He clung to Keith, crying against the younger boy’s bruised cheek. Keith closed his eyes, fully prepared to leave the world like this. He had told Shiro. At long last, he had finally done it. Nothing came out of it, but he had finally let out his big secret. 

Darkness started to cloud Keith’s mind and he slowly began to slip away. Though, before Death could wrap their careful fingers around his own, four beautiful words reached Keith’s ears. Keith opened his eyes and the words were whispered again.

“I love you too.” 

A single tear burned down Shiro’s cheek and fell down to mix with Keith’s own. The red paladin, though it was painful, smiled. His worries and pain seemed to wash away with Shiro’s agony and love laced words. It was then when Keith realized— he was finally at peace.

“I love you,” Shiro said again and they were the last words Keith heard as he gladly took Death’s hand and followed them into a world free of pain and heartbreak.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm angsty Galra Keith trash please don't hurt me.
> 
> Title from Fleurie's Hurts Like Hell


End file.
